It’s times like these (midnight) where all my thoughts are scattered and I’m just lying on my bed trying to pick up the pieces. Bit by bit they consume me and I’m left battling my emotions; slowly letting myself get swallowed into this pitch black void of space in my head. How wonderful it is to have a switch so I can just switch my whole system off/on whenever I want to.
I have this habit of not replying people when they text me. I mean, I tend to ‘disappear’ halfway through the conversation which is really annoying to other people. I’m sorry. I just couldn’t help it and I understand because of that, you might think I don’t care about you or you’re unimportant to me. I get distracted pretty easily. One second I’m texting you with one minute replies, then the next thing you know, I’ve gotten too preoccupied with doing something else thus forgetting to reply you. Please give me time to change my habit.
Then there’s her. I would be lying if I said I don’t miss her. Despite what happened between us, I still miss her. She was one of people who I opened up to straight away the moment we found out we were in the same group in college. Even though I’m busy with my daily routines now, there’s still that SOMETHING that’s constantly bugging the back of my brain. Every time I see her post things, my heart aches a little – because it never fails to remind me of how our friendship turned sour in just a blink of an eye.
Plus there’s this interview coming up for degree intake. A part of me feels proud of myself for being chosen for this interview session, but a part of me feels slightly disappointed because most of my friends will be far away from me and I’m worried I might have a serious case of culture-shock. Well, you can say I fear for the unknown. Which is ridiculous, but don’t blame me now. Blame my brain who’s actively coming up with random thoughts to make me worry, sad, depressed and lonely now.
These are some of the thoughts, that are keeping me awake as of right now when I should be sleeping, that I can muster up words to describe. So yeah. This post is just one of my occasional midnight rants about stuff going on in my head that I’m convinced, will make me feel better after I write about them.