There are a million ways to console a person who’s been under the weather lately. You see a little boy cry because his friends doesn’t want to include him in their little game – you give him a lollipop so he’d feel better; you see your friend’s family member attending their mother’s funeral – you offer her a hug to give her assurance; you see your best friend slowly losing herself as she drowns herself with self-loathing and her insecurities – you remind her why she’s so special and how lucky you are to have her as your best friend.
What you DON’T do is to want to make things worst than it already is. Empathy and sincerity are the two essential factors one needs to include if he or she is to want to console someone else. You don’t go around and compare yourself to their situation – like, “You know, you should be grateful that you don’t have to go through all the shit I’ve gone through because I’ve had worst than you,”. Yeah, for some people, this ‘technique’ works. Believe me, it works on me too sometimes. But what if every time you face a problem and you let it all out, your problem gets compared to again; so you’re telling me what I’m going through now is nothing compared to yours, and that I’m foolish and weak to go through what I’m going through? That I don’t deserve to feel this way sometimes? So what if I haven’t gotten it as bad as you? I have a right to feel sad too, don’t I? Why can’t you just empathize with me and just listen to the whole story first before coming to a conclusion? If you don’t have the sincerity to want to console me, please don’t stick around in the first place.
For the people that are simply amazing at being AMAZING, thank you. You know exactly all the right words to say because you empathize. You console someone with sincerity, patience and wisdom. You are the light at the end of the tunnel. You are that blink of hope when I look up at the night sky glittered with stars.
We deserve to feel sad too sometimes. We may not have a death sentence or a parent dying, but we all have our own stories to tell. Of course, we choose what makes us sad but sometimes even the strongest person needs to feel that emptiness and sadness once in awhile, and all they might want is for someone to just listen, understand and acknowledge.