The thing about second chances.

Everybody deserves a second chance.

As cliche as it sounds, you have to admit that it’s undeniably true. We’ve all had experiences from the past of people hurting us, right? And at that time, the most definite course of action is to let that person have a taste of his/her medicine and just completely shut that person out from our lives – well, in most cases that is. But here comes another phrase we’re all too familiar with :

Forgive and forget.

How often we are able to forgive but how it is almost impossible to forget one’s wrongdoings toward us. Especially if that person has hurt you countless times over and over again. It’s just like stacking up dominos : as the stacking gets higher and higher up until it eventually loses its balance, everything will collapse and leave a huge mess; as the faults pile up, we’ll eventually reach our tipping point where we just explode and are left there trying to pick up the pieces of our shattered hearts.

Sometimes things are easier said than done. What if the faults they did upon us were to painful to even just think about, that maybe they don’t deserve a second chance? They should just bear with the consequences because they deserved it; they let it happen to them; they should probably just rot together with their sins. But what if they’ve truly changed for the better? What if they are no longer the same person they were before?

I have stood and watched my dad picked himself up when he was offered his second chance – his chance to make up for what he did before; his chance of raising another family. Even though I wasn’t there to witness his downfall years before he had me – I have heard of my dad’s stories failures countless times from my mom to my aunts and uncles – and he is indeed trying his very best now in so many ways. There are also a number of friends that have walked out on me over the past few years and though it is impossible for me to forget what they’ve done, I forgave them. But the scars they’ve put on me are still evidently there and I am occasionally revisited with the memories that caused them.

Then there was my other ‘friend’. He was my first love. I admit that I loved him deeply at the time, but what I couldn’t see that time as I was blinded with the bright red aura called love, was how he treated me. I hated myself for falling for him. He was anything but nice, loving, wonderful – go ahead and insert any other positive adjectives because I’m telling you, he’s not even the slightest bit close to any of them. We lasted for a solid one year (I have no idea how). I guess the reason why I was attracted to him in the first place was because he was so mysterious and yet so charming and pretty hot. The STOP sign was obvious as it was plastered all over his body from head to toe. But I fell anyway, because he “welcomed” me. It started out great at first. Few months later, I realized he was not the guy I would want to continue being with but I couldn’t stop myself. He was still the same hot mysterious guy I knew but I was much aware he had such wicked intentions. It was a long process – the relationship – but he broke up with me right after our first year of being together; only to come running back to me after a week passed by. I firmly said ‘no’ and was proud of it. It took me two years to finally let it go. Now, we’re still kinda sorta friends. Second chance. And I can’t help but realize that he has ultimately changed for the better. He has a new girlfriend now and I’m happy for him. I hope he treats her – or any other lady in the future – the way they should be treated.

We are brave.

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You know what happens ALL the time? Fearing the unknown. How many times have we evaded from doing something just because we were afraid that things won’t go as planned? Things won’t work out? Or scared that we might humiliate ourselves; degrade ourselves; get rejected? Let’s face it : countless times. We often overthink a certain situation to the point where we feel as if it isn’t worth trying. Why waste our time trying when we know we’re going to fail, right? But wait – HOW would we even know that we’re going to fail?

You see, the funny thing about humans is that we have a mind. We can think; we can justify the rights and wrongs; we can come up with conclusions and solutions. Well, most of the time we tend to OVERTHINK. We come up with so many possibilities that are often negative ones. Even the easiest problem can be made the hardest.

We’re our bravest in our hardest times.

Most often we always underestimate what we’re capable of. We can do many things; we can overcome anything that’s in our way because God does not let us go through something that we’re not capable of. We just need to be reminded of how brave we actually are then maybe, when given a crisis, we are more than ready to face it.

The fault is always in our stars.

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Pain; it demands to be felt.

One of the most beautifully written story I have ever read. John, I salute you for being able to touch the hearts of many readers – me, in particular. Thank you for letting me experience the life of being a cancer patient (even though this book is like, fictional) through the eyes of Hazel. Filled with humor, tragedy, suspense, wonderful characters… I could simply reread this novel over and over again despite me being the type of person who never reread the same novel twice. Ever. It definitely gave me a lot to think about : how brief our existence will be in this universe; how important it is to actually live than to just exist; how friggin’ scary it is to have an incurable disease; how love has no limit.

I wish I can just tell you the whole story but of course, I don’t want to spoil the suspense that you must indeed experience yourself. All I can say is, it’s definitely worth the read.

Just a thought about… THE BRAIN.

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I’ve always wondered how our brain works with all those neurons spreading in all directions within it. And how big of an impact it has on our entire being; how it has the power to control our thoughts, our feelings and our motion. I came across this picture in Facebook and it got me thinking about us having this amazing structure contained in the cavity within our heads. Plus, it’s divided into left and right each holding a specific function.

The left being the so-called ‘intellectual’ side where we humans get to do things in order, much like a robot – following the rules; doing things according to plan; where rational judgements and decisions are made. Going to school, for instance, made us all use more of our left brain as teachers usually give us tasks and assignments to do. You either do them and study, or get detention and fail the finals.

The right side, however, is much more interesting because that’s our ‘creative’ side. Imaginations, innovations, senses, emotions ( although sometimes I wish this has an “on/off” button ) – everything we feel, everything we dream of, everything we desire are controlled by this side. We think out of the box when we use this side of the brain. Of course, all work and no play leads to a really sad life. Therefore, the school also encourage us to use our right brain through art classes, sports and other co-curricular activities – but it not being the main purpose of actually going to school.

There are a number of us that uses the left side more, but also that uses the right side more. But all in all, we’re all capable of using both sides in personal development throughout our lives. A proper balance of using both sides should be able to bring out the best in us.