It has been..

so long since my last post. I’ve been dying to update my blog but I was just too busy. I just started my first degree not too long ago (September) and ever since, life has been throwing lemons at me from every angle. Dentistry is one really tough course where classes start at 8am and finishes at 6pm everyday with lunch breaks in between which only last for about 45 minutes. We have seven subjects, minus the compulsory subjects by the university with which I think are not even the slightest bit important, covered for dentistry. Anatomy, physiology, biochemistry, microbiology, pathology, pharmacology and oral biology. These subjects are to be taught to us until the second year of our course. The biggest challenge actually is the limited time for us to study everything. Every chapter for every subject is taught for every hour – one whole chapter per hour, everyday. Don’t matter how short that chapter is or how freaking long it is, you still need to complete the whole thing in an hour. Then by the time you come home, you have dinner, do the laundry, do some assignments, you’ll already be dead tired. You want to revise but then you’re only able to revise for ONE subject – or half at least. Saturdays and Sundays are supposed to be for chilling out and to catch up on subjects that weren’t revised, right? Wrong. Apparently, Saturdays are occupied for co-curriculum activities every week and Sundays are sometimes occupied for extra activities held by either the faculty or the university itself.

However, despite having such a hectic schedule when it only has been two months when I first started, I kinda enjoy it. I mean, I do get stressed out and start ranting and all but then I’m really passionate about what I’m taking. Dentistry has been my first choice since, well, not too long ago – it was when I first got my braces… last year. I remember being so clueless about what I wanted to pursue. Mom and dad were both telling me to go for Pharmacy which I simply complied because all I was thinking about was to complete my foundation in science and take up any degree to start a living. I knew I didn’t like pharmacy but I didn’t know what else to do. Then one day, I went to get my braces done. As the dentist was trying to put the braces on me, it hit me right then and there that, I want to be a dentist. Passion is the only thing that’s keeping me going. Of course this doesn’t only apply to me but to everyone out there. When you have the passion for something, you’re able to do anything. Passion, sheer hard work, creativity, confidence and a little bit of luck.

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Meant to love but not meant to be.

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Because it's just not meant to be.

How often it is that we tend to fall in love with someone but never having the chance to actually be with that someone; being fully aware of our own feelings but never able to satisfy the thirst of being with the other just because life does not permit; to be tied up with “fate”. We can simply say life isn’t fair, right? That’s the thing about life : One moment you’re riding a smooth path towards your dreams and desires and then BAM! life beats you to it; the next thing you know, you’re falling so fast like a meteor finding it’s way to the grounds of the Earth.

I have dreamt of fairytale romance scenarios coming to life and happening to me countless times. Being a firm believer of true love – because I’m a hopeless romantic, I have always believed that the first person I fall for will be my one. Sadly to say, my first was an asshole. However, right after him, there was another guy. A wonderful, caring and amazing guy. In truth, it was because of him, my break-up with the asshole was so so SO much more bearable. Mr. Wonderful was there for me since day 1 when my then relationship was beginning to shed some light on me – of Mr. Asshole.

That year when Mr. Asshole was out of my life for good, was also a really trying year for me. Disaster after disaster happened and I can say, I really felt as if I hit rock bottom at the time. It was overwhelming. I changed schools, got into an accident, dealt with family problems and the list goes on and on. Well, he was there. All the way. He admitted that he liked me and so did I. But we never actually had the chance to be together. It just… didn’t happen. There were quite a number of times when I kept thinking of the ‘what ifs’. There was also a point where I got really upset that I’m going to watch him leave for further studies somewhere overseas. Katy Perry’s song “The One That Got Away” was on repeat for God knows how many times while I was in the room crying my eyes out. We eventually talked about it one night through the phone and concluded that we didn’t think the relationship would work out anyway due to the long distance. It would only end up hurting us both.

I still keep in touch with him though; he has someone now and she seems to be really sweet and wonderful – just like him – and is able to be kept close to him. I am perfectly happy with my boyfriend now too. And call me cheesy (I know I am) but, I dare to bet on this one that we’ll last a long time. I guess when it’s not meant to happen, it won’t – even if you were THIS close – because that’s life. And most of the time, the outcome is simply… unpredictable and magical.

Fifty shades of fucked-up emotions.

I know I’m a little outdated but I’ve just read Fifty Shades of Grey and Fifty Shades Darker. I’m currently still in the process of reading the final sequel – Fifty Shades Freed. Well, for starters, I’m REALLY into the story. I’ve been so emotional these past few days because I’m utterly hooked to the story. It’s so unique because it’s different than all the typical novels these days – and also, pretty… exotic. Yeah. That’s pretty much the right word to describe it.

The story is basically told in first person POV with Anastasia Steele as the main character. I’ve got to admit, she has one interesting life going on for her especially after meeting the young, handsome to-die-for billionaire, Christian Grey. In spite of him being a sadist and all, he’s actually really broken inside. One of the reasons why he does what he does – BDSM, if that’s what you’re wondering. But what really hit me right to my core, is how Ana is able to change save him for the better; how she’s able to pick up all the pieces of his shattered soul. Ana is a really brave and bright lady to be able to cope up with Christian, especially when he finally experienced his tipping point when she left him for the first time after letting him spank her for his own satisfaction. It hit her at that moment that she couldn’t wouldn’t want to have to deal with this even if she’s deeply and irrevocably in love with him as it is. This made Christian open his eyes and realize that Ana is different. She was the only, and possibly the first, person who dared to stand up to him.

In the second sequel, however, has more of the sugary sweet stuff. After Christian got back together with Ana, he truly made so much effort to keep her by his side. This is also where he realizes that he loves her as much as she does. The peak point of this second sequel is when Grey’s 6 years child (15 is still a young age) molester who he still kept in touch with, Elena (or Mrs. Robinson), confronted Ana when Grey announced that he and Ana are engaged in Christian’s family’s residence. Grey’s family, adopted, having found out of Elena’s affair with Christian, kicked Elena out. I simply loved the end of the book where Christian proposed to her in the boathouse near his family’s house. It was so touching and so romantic I just couldn’t stop thinking about it. It’s like, when you read, you get to imagine the whole scene live and happening; it’s like you’re the main character itself. My most favorite quote :

Anastasia Steele. I love you. I want to love, cherish and protect you for the rest of my life. Be mine. Always. Share my life with me. Marry me.

This part has got me so good.

And the fact that the official Fifty Shades of Grey movie is coming out on the 13th of February 2015, I just can’t even contain my excitement. I totally approve of Jamie Dornan as Christian Grey (he definitely has the look and aura of the character) and Dakota Johnson as Anastasia Steele. I can’t wait to finally be able to watch this story come to live.

What is up, Malaysia?

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Like, seriously. Malaysia, known as the ‘land below the wind’, is located at the equator of the globe. So we have summer all year long – and the occasional raining season. But these days, the weather is becoming extra hot. I’m telling you, I can’t even stand at least 3 minutes beneath the sun without getting this burning sensation on my skin. And my hair, I can’t even let it go anymore. Everywhere I go, it’s always up in a bun or a ponytail or a braid. So because of this, I made a pretty spontaneous decision.

I decided to go for the pixie cut.

Sure, going for a haircut is normal right? What’s the big deal anyway? Well, I have had long hair since I was 9 and I never cut my hair short – let alone the pixie cut. The decision was so spontaneous that I just went to the hairdresser one day and asked her to cut my hair really short.

“I want the pixie cut.”

“What? But your hair is so long and healthy. Are you seriously sure you want to chop it all off?”

“Malaysia’s getting too hot.”

And just like that, my long hair was gone. I tied my hair up in a ponytail that day so she just took it and cut it off. I was surprised she did that so I kinda gasped out a little too loud. Just like that, my days of being “Rapunzel” is over. I’m pretty happy with my hair. It’s cool to try out new looks. The best part is, seeing everybody’s (everyone who’s practically known me their whole lives) reactions when they saw me; I’m no longer the girl with the long hair.

The fault is always in our stars.

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Pain; it demands to be felt.

One of the most beautifully written story I have ever read. John, I salute you for being able to touch the hearts of many readers – me, in particular. Thank you for letting me experience the life of being a cancer patient (even though this book is like, fictional) through the eyes of Hazel. Filled with humor, tragedy, suspense, wonderful characters… I could simply reread this novel over and over again despite me being the type of person who never reread the same novel twice. Ever. It definitely gave me a lot to think about : how brief our existence will be in this universe; how important it is to actually live than to just exist; how friggin’ scary it is to have an incurable disease; how love has no limit.

I wish I can just tell you the whole story but of course, I don’t want to spoil the suspense that you must indeed experience yourself. All I can say is, it’s definitely worth the read.

21.02.2014 – Only because this is my first post.

Wordpress… seems like a nice place to write down all my daily/weekly or even monthly (I can’t promise. Hee) “happenings”. I love to write journals because it’s the only way I can get to know myself better and see myself improve as an individual fulfilling my passions and dreams. Some of the things I really love (though not too sure whether they’re considered my passion yet) basically consists of singing, drawing, photography, science-mainly Biology and Chemistry, writing, reading and the list goes on and on. Overall, I love exploring and trying out new things or activities. I like to think that, with all the experience I’ll gain throughout my life, I would be able to tell great tales and all my embarrassing moments to my friends, my relatives, my husband and most importantly my children in the future.

I actually have a blog in http://kissthebel.tumblr.com/ which was mainly the first place I planned to write down my thoughts but now, it’s mostly just filled with reblogs and collections of posts that humors me or I can totally relate to. Heh. Well, now I have WordPress, I can freely write! Yipee! Aaaaand my blog in Tumblr will just remain as my blog that contains all the random things (pictures, reblogs, songs etc) I love 🙂

To end my first entry, my friend, Sha, just took a peek of my blog from behind and now she’s starting to compare herself to ‘bloggers’. “I don’t understand why I can’t blog. It’s too much work! I’m not like you guys who writes and play around with bombastic words. You guys can write a whole post about, let’s say apples. Me? I can only manage to write ‘I like to eat apples‘.” This is a little too exaggerated huh? Hahah.

Here’s a picture of square apples. Because the normal ones are too mainstream.

Cuz the normal ones are too mainstream.

Hipster apples.